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Funny Hindi WhatsApp Jokes
Mohabbat ho jaye ya machchar kaate Anjaam ek hi hota hai;
Kya?
raat ko neend nahin aati.
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Budhi Mahila: Yamraj Ji, Mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?
Yamraj: Bidhiya dimag mat chaat, March mein closing thi, Target poora karna tha.
Yamraj: Bidhiya dimag mat chaat, March mein closing thi, Target poora karna tha.
———–
Police (chor se): Waada karo aage se jeb nahin katoge
Chor bola, “Main wadaa karta hoon, Ab aage se nahin peechhe se jeb katunga”
Chor bola, “Main wadaa karta hoon, Ab aage se nahin peechhe se jeb katunga”
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Doctor Mareej se bola, “Agar tum meri dawa se theek ho gaye to mujhe kya inaam doge?”
Mareej: Main kabra khodta hoon, Aapki kabra free mein khod dunga!
Mareej: Main kabra khodta hoon, Aapki kabra free mein khod dunga!
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Mahila Doctor: Tum roj subah clinic ke bahar khade hokar Aurato ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Aadmi: Ji aap ne hi likha hai, “Aurato ko dekhne ka samay subah 9 baje se 11 baje tak!”
Aadmi: Ji aap ne hi likha hai, “Aurato ko dekhne ka samay subah 9 baje se 11 baje tak!”
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Khud ko karo Kanjoos itna
Ki Har SMS bhejne se pehle
Ki Har SMS bhejne se pehle
Service center wale khud Call karke puchhein,
.
.
Kya aap sach mein ise bhejna chahte hain? Ya SENDING Fail kar dun? 
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With AAM Aadmi Party winning only 4 seats in the Loksabha
they can change their party’s name to
‘Chaar Aadmi Party’
‘Chaar Aadmi Party’
And they can sing this song…
Chaar Bach Gaye lekin “Party” abhi baaki hai!
This is amazing PJ you gonna love…
Q: What do you call your sister who has every information about almost everything?
Think…
.
Think harder….
Think IT, think software…
Ans: Infosys..!
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4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:
1. Wife’s Smile
2. Wife’s Tear
3. Wife’s Looks
2. Wife’s Tear
3. Wife’s Looks
And the most dangerous,
4. Wife’s Missed Call.!
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Daya fainted n went into coma by seeing that…..
.
.
that
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it.
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it.
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Daya fainted n went into coma by seeing that…..
.
.
that
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it.
RAJNIKANT broke the door just by knocking it.
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A pig goes to GUINESS BOOK OFFICE to check,
If He’s Still the Most ugly Animal on Earth Or Not?
If He’s Still the Most ugly Animal on Earth Or Not?
He Came Out Angrly Shouting:
Ye Saala SHARAD PAWAR Kaun Hai?
———–
Bush: Osama mile toh use fod do..
Gandhi: Hinsa achi baat nhi, use chhod do..
Einstein: Samay rukta nhi, to use mod do..
Manmohan: theek hai!
Sonia: desh k liye mujhe vote do..
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Biceps build karne ke liye uspar load do..
Bill Gates: Windows unlock karne k liye use code do!
Rajnikanth: oye admin ! mere kaarname duniya ke samne lana chhod do
And the best one
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ACP Praduman: Daya, khooni andar hai, main kehta hu darwaza tod do..
.
ACP Praduman: Daya, khooni andar hai, main kehta hu darwaza tod do..
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Employee to his boss,
“Sir,Increase my salary, I got married recently.”
“Sir,Increase my salary, I got married recently.”
The boss replied,
“The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”
“The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”
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Santa Ka Sir Phat Gaya
Wo dikhane ke liye doctor ke paas gaya.
Doctor ne puchha: Ye kaise Hua?
Santa bola:
Main Chappal Se Keel Thok Raha Tha.
Yeh dekh Banta Bola, “Gadhe Kabhi KHOPDI Ka Bhi Istemal Kar Liya Kar”
Yeh dekh Banta Bola, “Gadhe Kabhi KHOPDI Ka Bhi Istemal Kar Liya Kar”
Chaube ji ko dast lag gaye…
Wo doctor ko dikhane gaye..
Doctor ne kaha Nimbu ka istemaal karo!
2 din baad…
Doctor: Ab dast kaise hain?
Chaube ji: Nimbu hatate hi phir shuru ho jaate hain!!
Student Ki Bhagwan Se Baatein
Student to God:
Hazaro ki kismat tere hath hai,
Agar pass karde to kya bat hai.
Hazaro ki kismat tere hath hai,
Agar pass karde to kya bat hai.
After the exam…
God:
Girlfriends thodi kam patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi…
Girlfriends thodi kam patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi…
2015jun
Bachche Ko Lagi Potty
1 Baccha potty karne khule mein gaya
Waha ek Suar (pig) baitha tha
Suar ko dekhkar Baccha waha se bina potty kiye jane laga
Yeh dekh, Suar chillaya
“Saadda Haqq
Etthe Rakkhh…”
Etthe Rakkhh…”
2015jun
Kya Kya Bana Leti Hai Aapki Beti
Ladke wale: Kya kya bana leti hai aap ki beti?
Ladki wale: Ab kya tareef karein… yeh selfie lete samay 25 alag alag tarah ke muh bana leti hai!
2015jun
Rahul Gandhi And Nestle Case
BREAKING NEWS…
Sonia Gandhi ne kara Nestle par case
Kaha… Maggi ki wajah se nahin ho paya Rahul ke dimaag ka vikaas!!
Kaha… Maggi ki wajah se nahin ho paya Rahul ke dimaag ka vikaas!!
2015jun
Funny Maggi Jokes Trending On WhatsApp
Duniya me 2 kaam bahut achchhe hue
Ek to whatsapp aane se pehle 12th complete ho gayi..
Aur dusra MAGGI band hone se pehle graduation complete ho gayi!!
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Girl: Arey… Ab kya bolun main?
Boy: Pyaar karti ho to I love you bolo..
warna main abhi 2 packet maggi kha lunga!!
warna main abhi 2 packet maggi kha lunga!!
Girl: Nahi, aisa mat karna 
Boy: Jaldi bolo, paani chadha diya hai gas pe!! Bas 2 minute ki der hai
Girl: Acchha, I love you baba… bas maggi mat khana!!
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Hostel me rehne wale bachcho ke dard ko samjhte hue
Baba Ramdev ‘Desi Maggi’ launch kar sakte hain…
Mauka hai aur dastoor bhi!!
Baba Ramdev ‘Desi Maggi’ launch kar sakte hain…
Mauka hai aur dastoor bhi!!
Desi maggi ka naam ‘Patanjali Namkeen Sivaiya’
Ya
‘Sivaiyaa, Sab bhookho ki maiya’ hoga!
Ya
‘Sivaiyaa, Sab bhookho ki maiya’ hoga!
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BREAKING NEWS:
After the ban on Maggi,
90% girls on matrimony sites removed ‘Cooking’ as a Hobby/expertise!
After the ban on Maggi,
90% girls on matrimony sites removed ‘Cooking’ as a Hobby/expertise!
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Maggi tak to theek hai,
But kisi ne poha-jalebi par rok lagayi, to dange ho jaayenge
Aur kisi ne kota ki kachori pe rok lagane ki sochi, to Yuddh ho jayega!
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2015jun
Patni Aur Ghadi Ke Beech Sambandh
Dono ke beech samaantayein:-
1. Ghadi chaubees ghante tic-tic karti rehti hai, aur Patni chaubees ghante Kit-kit karti rehti hai!
2. Ghadi ki suiyaa ghoom phir ke wahi aa jaati hai, Usi prakaar Patni ko aap kitna bhi samjha lo, wo ghoom-phir kar wahin aa jayegi aur apni baat manwayegi.
3. Ghadi bigad jaaye to Mechanic ke yaha jaati hai, Patni bigad jaaye to Maayke jaati hai.
Continue reading
Continue reading
2015jun
Roye Wo Iss Kadar
Roye wo iss kadar
unki laash se lipat kar
unki laash se lipat kar
Ki Laash khud uthh kar boli
.
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“Le tu mar ja pehle,
Upar hi chadhe ja raha hai Itni Garmi mein..”
Upar hi chadhe ja raha hai Itni Garmi mein..”
2015jun
Shadi-Shuda Aadmi Ki Haalat
Relationship status for married men….
dhobi ka kutta
Na ex- ka..
Na next ka..
Na next ka..
2015jun
Pappu Ki Plastic Surgery
Pappu: Doctor sahab, Plastic surgery mein kitna kharch aayega?
Doctor: 50 Hazaar
Pappu: Agar plastic hum de dein to?
Doctor: (Gusse se).. Saare pighla ke chipka bhi lena!
Husband Aur Intelligent Biwi
Raat mein pati ko patni ne milk diya…
Pati doodh taste karte hi bola: Yeh kaisa doodh hai?
Patni boli:
Wo kesar khatam ho gaya tha,
to maine “Vimal Paan Masala” daal diya…
Iske daane daane mein hai… kesar ka dam! isiliye!!!
Wo kesar khatam ho gaya tha,
to maine “Vimal Paan Masala” daal diya…
Iske daane daane mein hai… kesar ka dam! isiliye!!!
Breaking News From Modi
BREAKING NEWS
Central Govt has banned newly wed couples from going abroad for honeymoon
Modi says “Make In India”!
2015may
Gas Subsidy
Employee: sir I have not linked my account to Aadhar. But I still got gas subsidy.
HR department: that’s not the gas subsidy. That’s your increment!!
2015may
Very Funny Beautiful Lines
When you’re dead,
you don’t know that you’re dead.
It’s known to others.
you don’t know that you’re dead.
It’s known to others.
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It’s the same
when you’re a ch00tiya.
when you’re a ch00tiya.
2015may
Vacations – In India And Foreign
Vacations in other countries!!!!
Fishing
Camping
Trekking
Camping
Trekking
Vacations in India!!!
Chalo
mama ke ghar !
Garmi ki chhutti nana-nani ke yaha bitayenge
mama ke ghar !
Garmi ki chhutti nana-nani ke yaha bitayenge
2015may
College Ka Bond, James Bond
2015may
Latest New Funny PJs (Poor Jokes)
What do you call a bee that comes from America?
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USB
No claps please!
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One More 
Why don’t people clap in Afghanistan?
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Because of ‘Tali-ban’!
Acha ek or
What will you call “Burj Khalifa” after 80 years?
Bujurg Khalifa!
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Acha bas ek or
How do you ask your ‘Massi’ to take a dip in water?
Diplomacy!
(Dip-lo-massi)
(Dip-lo-massi)
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Ye wala last
How do you say “she is calling a cab” in one word?
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Vocabulary!
(vo-cab-bula-ry)
Vocabulary!
(vo-cab-bula-ry)
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Ye wala ek dum last
Which Pakistani cricketer does not have a date of birth?
Umar Gul..
Share to banta hai boss! Thoko like
2015may
Ek Marwari Ki Shri Ganesh Prarthana
Ganpati Bappa Moriya
Dhandha ko-ni ho riya!
Dhandha ko-ni ho riya!
2015may
Rahul Gandhi Aur Gareeb Kisaan
Rahul Gandhi: Gareeb kisano ko Rooh-afza diya jayega.
Sonia Gandhi: Beta Roohafza nahi muavza!!
Poor Pappu Whatsapp Jokes On Narendra Modi’s Frequent Foreign Visits
Biwi bachhe na ho to
aadmi ka ghar mein rehne ka mann hi nahin karta…
aadmi ka ghar mein rehne ka mann hi nahin karta…
Modi ji fir se 3 desho ki videsh yatra pe rawana!
—————-
Kisi ko apne kharab mobile ki
Battery mangwana ho to bata do…
Battery mangwana ho to bata do…
Modi ji china mein hi hain…!
—————-
Kisi ko pata ho to plz batao mujhe,
Mujhe aaj tak samjh nahi aaya ki…
Modi ji election jeete the
ya
World tour ka package!!
ya
World tour ka package!!
—————-
For Narendra Modi:
Either flight mode is ON
or
Camera is ON
Either flight mode is ON
or
Camera is ON
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